Zero F#cks
When you start something anew and tend to stick with it, there is a chance it can come to define you. Since I started posting my “Sunday is not about work” photo series on LinkedIn, it’s come to define me among a few. While it’s nice that people are encouraging and complimentary in their feedback, it’s a little scary that now it’s the top-of-mind recall about me; on a professional platform! 🤦 Some folks actually believe I travel to these places, week after week, take photos and upload them in real time. If only I had the money, the means and the energy! 🤑
My motive to start this series was driven by my own boredom of seeing the same stuff posted on LinkedIn, and hence was an attempt to break the conversation clutter and stand out. However, the more I did it, the more I started deriving joy in sharing my visual tapestry with no care whether someone noticed it, or liked it or commented on it.
I say this without arrogance and with humility, but giving zero fucks as I hit 50 today is something that has come over considerable time and with considerable effort. It is a highly liberating feeling, especially since I grew up non-linear [aka gay], asthmatic, artsy, sarcastic, looking Bawa/Sindhi but being Gujju, and vaguely intellectual. I struggled to feel comfortable in my skin. I wasn’t part of any cliques at school or in engineering and felt terrible at not being included at such a young age. My first group of friends really came in my 20s at NMIMS, my MBA school. The need to belong was so consuming that I missed acknowledging true friends who were present; luckily they didn’t give up on me and are still among my closest friends.
The pressure to fit in is real and palpable; as I transitioned from student to a professional, that struggle continued, even more so. Most corporate cultures operate with an air of toxic masculinity, obvious in some places but buried under a pile of HR policies in other places. It exists everywhere though!
The past few years heralded an acceptance of who I am which is refreshing. It helped me shed pretences I built around myself and led me to focus on things beyond work, primarily my volunteering efforts at Samaritans Mumbai, my Buddhist practice and small steps in supporting the LGBTQ community, staring down the DEI [diversity-equity-inclusion] priority barrel. I no longer feel terrible at being called out for getting older, being overweight, being non-linear, having zero tolerance for BS, and readily own what I do well, working harder at what I need to improve upon. The profundity of the passive has a certain allure that growing older offers
My pic shared in the beginning captures this feeling of being comfortable, happy and blessed in who I am, but is an unintentional picture. My brother and a few close friends rallied together and hosted this fantastic surprise 50th birthday party which totally knocked me off my feet [disclaimer: the props in the pic are not mine and were forced on me]! 🙄 This picture was taken in a moment of absolute joy, as in that room was almost everyone that mattered and blessings I received from the universe. People who sustained me, nurtured me, have been with me in my worst moments and showed up when I needed them the most. Whether it is in my career or in my personal life, these are blessings I do not take for granted. There’s a beautiful old Bollywood song, “Jahan pe savera ho” in which Lata Mangeshkar starts with, “jahan pe savera ho, basera wahin hain” but ends with “jahan pe basera ho, savera wahin hain”. Simply put, “where you roost, the light follows”!
